THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON SEX
Photo borrowed from www.livescience.com
Written by AlphaSiren.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the body-mind connection; personally, I’ve always felt a very strong connection between the two but it’s only recently that I’ve been researching on how that connection parlays into sexual experience and satisfaction.
This is Your Brain on Sex
In speaking with friends (and strangers) and reading many articles on this subject, it appears many people don’t realize or think about their brain when it comes to sex, how they view it, or even how they experience it. The mind-body connection is an extremely powerful one, and when tapped into and accessed, can provide the most satisfying, holistic and, dare I say, mind-blowing sexual experiences of your life. Sounds amazing, right? And really, who wouldn’t want that?
When you spot a dime (or male equivalent) on the street and you lock eyes and feel that surge of electricity to your nether regions, it’s not actually your nethers that are feelin’ the vibe; it’s your brain. The brain is the most powerful sexual organ and whether or not you believe this really doesn’t matter – the leading researchers in the field of sexology have already determined this to be a fact. So, moving on.
When it comes to sex, the brain is the powerhouse of the operation. It controls not only hormones and the physical manifestations of attraction and arousal (via transmitting signals to your sexy bits and other body parts, letting them know that all systems are go), it also dictates how you feel about sex, what you are attracted to (and whom), and how you are influenced and respond to external factors (such as pornographic films and erotic literature, for example)
Unfortunately, because sex is, in many ways, still such a taboo topic, there is a pervasive stigma around anything which lies outside more ‘mainstream’ views, tastes and perceptions. Through my articles, I’m hoping to bust through those walls and encourage people to explore, research, experiment and unleash their sexy beast, and feel comfortable in doing so. Sex is natural and sex is fun (thanks George Michael!). It’s also integral to overall physical and mental health. And the best place to start with deepening your sexual relationship (both with yourself and with your partner) is your brain. Fear holds us back from so many things in life, not excluding our own pleasure, and once we feel more comfortable and safe exploring ourselves and our sexual desires, we will experience a far more fulfilling life (sexual or otherwise).
Taming the Monster and Unleashing the Beast: Knowledge is (Sexual) Power
As with anything in life, there is always more work to be done and more knowledge to be gained. You increase your understanding of who you are as a sexual being (and sexual partner) by self-discovery and exploration. These can come through channels such as research, meditation, breath work, yoga, fantasies, masturbation and tantra. Understanding the power of your own mind and how you choose to direct your thoughts will dictate how deep your sexual experience will be, and will be paramount in achieving great sexual health. Our brains can be our biggest foes when we allow insecurity, fear and shame to pervade our thoughts; instead we must see our minds as the hub of our desire, fantasy and comfort. Becoming educated about what we like, what turns us on (and not feeling shame about it), will allow freedom in sexual partnerships as well. Once you understand how powerful your erotic mind can be, this power can be harnessed and directed in a positive way to increase your own sexual satisfaction and fulfillment. Now, when you can successfully harness the power of your own body-mind connection and couple that with that of your partner? – well this is the stuff of (wet) dreams.
The Four-Legged Monster™
Up until a little over 4 months ago, I had been the perennial single girl who. While no stranger to long-term relationships, I had been on a bit of an extended hiatus (6+ years), so was ‘suffering’ from Solo Girl Syndrome. As such, I hadn’t really looked too closely at how a combined erotic mind could take sex Over.The.Top. Now that I’ve (very happily) cashed in my lifetime memberships to online dating sites, I am in a relationship where I’m not only re-learning old steps which had gotten a bit rusty over the years, I’ve acquired a new awareness and deeper understanding of my own sexuality which has opened up a far broader (and infinitely more satisfying) sex life than I ever knew possible.
My partner coined the phrase “Four-Legged Monster™” to signify our combined desire to achieve a single erotic mind, where we exist as two people, but share one sexual brain. This has come (and continues to develop) through a solid foundation of love, trust and security and much open dialogue. We are supportive of one another and communicate constantly and we share our deepest (and often, very ‘out there’) thoughts and fantasies without the fear of judgment or shaming because we share a single goal to possess a unified erotic mind. This is allowing us (and our sexual relationship) to continually evolve by evolving together.
Through studying, reading, and exploring new areas of intimacy, I’ve been able to achieve a higher level of consciousness and have been able to experience a far deeper state of arousal and intimacy with my partner. Our combined brainpower is proving to be an even greater sexual aid than anything one could find in a sex toy shop (and requires far fewer batteries!) Realizing and understanding the power of what you possess between your ears will take your sexual experience deeper than you knew possible. TRUST me, I’m preachin’ the gospel here.